So a few days later, I am still feeling "different" and I am so so grateful to you! I feel like it's too soon to say it was the best day of my life but something has changed profoundly.Immediately afterwards I was going to go home but took public transport to the city instead to meet a friend (on a busy Friday night!) I felt like I was glowing a little, haha. Without having to try I felt safer and I kept smiling at people instead of desperately trying to avoid them. I felt so relieved, I felt lighter like I'd "dropped my bags of stuff" smile emoticon and my posture was better, I used to have to remind myself not to slouch my shoulders inwards. The feelings of desperation and shame were gone and I felt so much hope - the world felt like a playground instead of a tornado. I've experienced such a profound shift in awareness that I'm still coming to understand it and try to not fall back into old habits. I've noticed it's a bit easier to express myself now, my inner truth comes out more sincerely, I used to be frustrated that my words and tone etc always came out wrong. I've also calmly and reasonably stood up for myself a couple of times which is huge! I used to be so overwhelmed by emotions that I couldn't do that or did it badly. So yeah, everything has changed and I'm trying to maintain it and I've gone from being a skeptic to, not even a believer but, an 'experiencer'. Apart from the incredible change in how I feel it was also a huge relief to feel so understood and accepted by you, thank you thank you for your compassion and for creating a safe space to talk about things so many people must be secretly experiencing.