Hands up if you’ve ever gone to a family gathering or hung out with childhood friends and left feeling…like you’re all of five years old? Or twelve? And so on!
Before you went, you were doing great! Feeling like your kick-ass adult self, right?
Then within the space of a few hours, it’s as if all your adult status has been flushed! And you’ve been dumped right back in your childhood or teen years. Which can feel pretty crap!
So what’s happening exactly?
There’s a few things going on, to be honest.
- YOUR perception of yourself in relation to your friends or family
- THEIR perception of you
- How grounded you feel in your own being, in present time
Your perception of you
This! It’s THE biggest issue most of us face, right? Whether we’re talking about mindset, or healing emotional wounds or traumas, how we see ourselves is so important.
After all, you’re the first one you speak to when you get up in the morning, and the last person you speak to at night. Right?
Sometimes, instead of dealing with our “stuff”, we’ve done an excellent job of stuffing it away in a hidey-hole.
Which works great most of the time, but when you’re around people who knew you when some of this “stuff” was formed? Up it pops.
You may feel a bit desperate. Out of control. Like a fraud in your own life. And most definitely, not like a grown-ass adult any more!
What can you do about this?
Continue your inner work. Do the journaling, see your friendly-neighborhood kinesiologist to gently surface and unwind these layers.
Their perception of you
Our family and oldest friends can form “snap shots” of who we are to them.
We can ALL be guilty of doing this to each other, so it’s a tendency you should look into for yourself, in terms of how you see those in your own life.
Sometimes, those nearest and dearest to us form ideas and stories about who they think you are.
VERY triggering stories like…
“Oh, we all know you can’t be trusted to keep a secret”
“You were always the one who over-reacts to EVERYTHING. Can’t you be less emotional?”
“Well you’ve never been a very good driver”
“You’re not to be trusted with money”
“You were always the clumsy one”
{Okay, take a deep breath right now!}
You see, it doesn’t matter how many accomplishments you’ve racked up, there might be someone(s) in your life who see you through their lens of less-than-functional.
They may see you as… The teen who was angry or unhappy. Or the child who was afraid of her own shadow.
It doesn’t matter how many degrees or diplomas you have, or how many amazing things you’ve done! To them, you’re still who you were when they formed that opinion. Yikes!
Unless your loved ones are ready, willing and able to meet you in the present moment and get to know you all over again RIGHT NOW, they might always hold on to their stories about who they think you are.
Which is super frustrating, right? (Remember, you might be doing this to other people, too!)
What you can do about it?
See it for what it is. Do your inner work to unwind your triggers around those sorts of stories.
Gain knowledge deep in your own being that this is NOT true, and in fact it may never have been true.
Understand the game of story-telling that’s going on, and develop a sense of humour about it.
And, if you can do so from a non-reactive place, gently correct the story-teller. “Well actually, no. That might have been true once, but it hasn’t been true for at least 15 years now. That’s not who I am at all…”
How grounded you are in present time
The more inner work you do, the more you play detective and investigate, heal and integrate old wounds and traumas, the more of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energies are available to you in present time.
Which helps you to feel more grounded and certain of who you are. And confident about that, no matter who levels criticism or stories in your general direction.
Sometimes the views we/others form are so outdated – they can be decades old!
And all of these ideas and opinions take up energy and space in our mind.
If you’ve got stories going on about yourself or loved ones?
Then yes, please…seek out some support to release and integrate them!
Why? Because the less energy you invest in stories, the more energy you have, which impacts your vitality, health and wellbeing.
If we want others to give up their stories about us, we have to be willing to do the same for them, too.
What can you do about it?
Practices like yoga, meditation, dancing, and singing help us to get to know ourselves, love our body and be cool with who we are on all levels.
Journaling is really useful to help you see where you were, and how you’ve changed over time.
Again…keep on doing the inner work!
Some questions to journal with…
- Who are you in present time in relationship to: yourself, your partner, kids, family, workmates and friends?
- What “snap shots” do you have about who you think people are? (i.e. “They always do/say/act like…”)
- What if you can choose instead, to meet your friends, family & loved ones afresh each time? Every day, we are different and so are they!
- Can you leave behind your stories and dramas and find out who your loved ones are – and who we are, too – in each moment?
Need a hand to unwind your stories?
Kinesiology is a powerful tool for healing old wounds, traumas, health issues, and stories, to reveal a more integrated, whole and energised you.
If you’d like to book a session, get in touch or you can book a session online!
Much love,
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Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world. Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children). |
