How to build strong energy boundaries

How to build strong ENERGY boundaries

Recently I wrote about the importance of having healthy behavioural boundaries. As in, not letting people walk all over you, and knowing what’s acceptable or not for your own personal integrity.

So… how’re you going with improving your boundaries? I’d love to learn about any insights you’re having!

And as I mentioned in that post, there’s another aspect to boundaries that’s a little less tangible: energetic boundaries.

This post is for YOU if you…

  • Have been told all your life that you’re “too sensitive”.
  • Regularly experience phantom pains or flu-like symptoms when around people who are in pain or unwell.
  • “Feel” the emotions of other people in your life, and think they’re your own.
  • Can experience all of the above even when the person(s) involved are in a different physical location.

Sound familiar? Well then, you might be an empath!

“Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods.”

The above quote is from an article called “30 Traits of An Empath”. It’s quite long, but worth the read if you think it could be relevant to you or someone you know.

Many empaths work as artists, and in healing or service work. Some of us don’t though.

Instead, we choose jobs where sensitivity is undervalued and so we end up trying to fit into a working culture that feels extremely harsh to us.

And nope, empaths don’t usually look like Agatha from the Minority Report…


Yes, I’m outing my inner sci-fi geek!

{ And in case you were wondering, I too, am an empath. }

My theory about empaths

Is that EVERYONE has the innate ability to feel and experience the world in this way.

For various reasons, empaths are people whose sensitivity is front and centre pretty much all the time.

Most of us are born with this level of openness, but it often becomes closed off due to various life circumstances. For example, the need to feel protected and safe can mean it being open and sensitive isn’t that comfortable.

For empaths who’ve had to shut down their sensitivity, this trait will eventually come back quite intensely at another point in life. Which can be a rather confusing and overwhelming experience. Sometimes it’ll show up as a physical illness, OR you might even feel as though you’re “going crazy”.

Especially if you and/or those around you have little experience with energy work. And trust me, it’s not always the so-called “woowoo” people who are empathic.

As mentioned above, empaths can be found in all walks of life.

The challenges of being an empath

So… we empaths have got some serious energetic boundary work to do in order to have an experience of life that’s a little less intense and out of control…

Until we do, life can look like any/all of the following:

  • Walking into a room full of people can make us feel like a radio transmitter, picking up every radio station that’s broadcasting.
  • Unchecked, our energy can “run off” amongst other people. As if we’re sending out sensors. While this is a natural tendency for empaths, it leaves us very open and vulnerable.
  • We often “surrogate” for other people. This can happen emotionally, energetically, physically or on all levels. Usually loved ones, co-workers, clients or friends.
  • Surrogating has several forms, but often means we spend a lot time “being” other people. As in, feeling and experiencing life from the perspective of another person.
  • People tell us all kinds of intimate details, often unasked for. Sometimes this can be quite an emotional load.
  • Some days we wake up feeling awful for no good reason. But they’re not even our own emotions! They could belong to a friend, family member or co-worker.

The bonuses of being an empath

Because yes, there are bonuses!

  • Even though culturally, sensitivity is considered a weakness, it isn’t. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been mocked for being ultra-sensitive. BUT sensitivity is a misunderstood strength…
  • Our sensitivity allows us to connect to our intuition and higher Self. Which means we truly “get it”, that we’re not just small human-shaped beings living a finite life. We really are a part of the Universal Consciousness. For empaths, this isn’t an intellectual idea. We feel and experience this every day.
  • Being an empath means we are specifically suited to working as healers, counselors, artists and teachers etc. This is the work we were born to do!

An affirmation you can use

Til you build up your empath “muscles”, you’ll need a little help getting things sorted. Affirmations are brilliant for helping you to re-program the conscious and sub-conscious patterns, habits and thoughts you carry.

It can take a little while but saying your affirmations every day will give you results, I promise.

This affirmation has always worked well for me, and isn’t reliant on a belief in guides, guardians or archangels!

“Dear guides, guardians and Archangels: Please help me maintain the integrity of my energy body until I learn how to consciously do this for myself. Only my energy, feelings and emotions are allowed in my energy field. I feel but do not absorb. “

Write it out in your own handwriting and put it in a place you’ll always see it. Like on your mirror or bedside table. Or a note in your phone, even.

Feel free to repeat this affirmation  as many times as you need to each day. Eventually you’ll need to say it less and less.

If however, you find this isn’t quite your sort of thing, then make up your own affirmation or method of feeling grounded and protected. And do that, every day.

Any of this ring a bell for you?

Yes? Then you’re more than likely a highly sensitive person and/or an empath.

It can be such a relief to know this about ourselves!


Acknowledging your sensitivity is just the first step

In part 2 of this piece I’ll talk about: How to Empath with ExcellenceCoz surely, that’s what we want, right?

To learn to be masterful in navigating life as an empath?

To have strong energetic boundaries without having to work so hard?

Yeah, I thought so…

So, stay tuned.

Much love,

Ambha Amanda x

Ambha Amanda Roberts - Kinesiologist and Intuitive Healer, Mullumbimby, Australia

Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world.

Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children).

More about Ambha Amanda | Book a session

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