A HUGE theme playing out for many people is that of personal power.
A common issue many people have is the belief that power is limited and finite, and you’ve either got it or you don’t.
In this context, power can be seen as dangerous and potentially “bad”, whether you’re the one wielding it or the one who feels at the mercy of someone else’s power.
Some people seek power jealously, while others can even be afraid of their power, and make themselves play small just in case they do something bad or evil.
Which can be quite an unconscious belief that you mightn’t even be aware of until it gets triggered in some way.
Other possible beliefs around power:
- People with power are bad and can’t be trusted
- I can’t be trusted with power
- I really want power (BADLY!) but I fear I’ll never have any
- My opinions aren’t as worthy as other people’s
- I can’t do or be XYZ because I’m not as good as others even if I have the same qualifications
- It’s better to be lazy than be too powerful
And. So. On!
Then for example, your attitude might be one of looking down on those who seem to flaunt their power over others, as WRONG.
Or you might feel guilty for having or wanting power over others.
Another possibility – you may feel powerless in a certain situation
No matter what you do, you just can’t make things turn out the way you’d like so you’ll do something/anything to demonstrate whatever power you do have.
Maybe you decide to take back your toys, exclude someone or be less generous than before. Not because that’s how you really feel, but because you’re trying to do whatever you can to manipulate the outcome, even if in the process you end up doing something destructive!
(Note: This is usually when we do dickish things in vengence to “show” the other person what we can do!)
The main issue here is the perception of “power over” instead of “power with”
(See earlier in this blog post re: the belief that power is finite!)
When you acknowledge that everyone is both powerful AND powerless, that you aren’t ever truly in control, then you can start to shift your perception of what’s really going on.
But when you feel powerless, it can be very easy to also feel victimised by the world and people around you.
Which can cause you to feel weak and emotional. Maybe even angry and/or in danger! It sort of depends where you’re at and what your emotional defaults are.
Sometimes I’ll say to clients – it’s time to reclaim your power
And they’ll say, but how?
So I’ll explain that regardless of what other people do, owning how you feel and what you choose to think and feel about someone else’s behaviour can either strengthen or weaken you. It’s up to you.
Being clear about how you allow yourself to be treated and spoken to, is another example. Boundaries around what you will/won’t tolerate are important for your own sense of Self, more than anything.
It’s very easy for humans to go to battle when someone doesn’t love or treat us the way we want to be loved and treated.
We feel like they’ve done wrong by us and should admit that and pay for what they’ve done in some way.
Only, that person you’re railing against probably thinks the same thing about you
And perhaps even feels entirely justified in their actions and behaviour.
So you simply won’t get what you want from them!
It’s in the expectation of that person doing what you want them to do, that you hand over your power.
Because for every moment that they “fail” to do what you want them to do, you feel upset, disrespected and disempowered.
They may eventually come ’round to your view of the world or not…BUT how you feel, the ways in which you SUFFER in thoughts and emotions, is on you.
Letting your energetic and emotional well-being be affected by what someone else thinks, feels, says or does in relation to you is a way of playing small.
I used to do it all the time…
I spent a lot of my life trying my best to give my power away to anyone who’d take it. NOT the most healthy way of living this life!
Learning emotional resilience despite the opinions of others is a crucial skill we are simply not taught.
But in order for you to get on with what you really came to this planet to do? It’s essential.
Stop playing small.
Call back your power.
Approve of yourself.
And never ever use your own position to exert power over someone else. Coz that shit ain’t cool!
P.S. What do you think some of your beliefs around power might be?
P.P.S. If you’d like a hand working through and releasing beliefs that no longer serve you, book a Kinesiology session today.
Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world.
Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children).