You know the ones I mean! Deaths. Funerals. Break ups. Break downs. Estrangements.
Challenging. F*cking. Days.
And each year, they come around again like clockwork.
When there’s still an emotional charge associated with those anniversaries, our bodies know. Our bodies keep the score. The trauma. The when. The where. The what.
I’ve had several such reminders like this in my life. Some I’ve been able to resolve with lots of inner healing work. Others… I’m not so sure they will ever fully resolve.
Like the passing of my Dad
On the anniversary of his death, my body has previously given me some of the physical symptoms he experienced before he passed. As I process more of that grief each year, the symptoms shift. But my body still KNOWS.
There’ve been other times in my life where my body has frantically reminded me of challenging anniversary dates, even when they haven’t been top of mind.
This has shown up as things like extreme anxiety, seemingly without cause. Or weird aches and pains, or needing to sleep a lot. Or weird interactions with other people that generate a similar feeling, one after the other.
I find myself thinking at these times WTAF?
But eventually my intuition whispers to me, and I get the “ah-ha”. One year, on the fifth anniversary of a certain traumatic experience, an inner voice kept saying “check the date”!
It took me a little while to work it out. And then… ohhh. I hadn’t been tracking that particular date! But hey… it was clearly time to do more work on that issue.
So that’s what I did. Self-care. Self-healing. Working with my trusted team of healing practitioners.
Whenever stuff like this comes up, I don’t pull away.
I dive in
I ask what it is I’m being reminded to pay attention to in particular. And I allow that stuff to rise up, and be transformed.
Maybe that’s a part of what makes challenging anniversary days so important. We need to feel our feels.
Grief may never entirely go away
But we can lovingly hold space for ourselves, and gently work with our suffering and pain.
I don’t believe we need to hold on to those parts of grief forever.
Take care of you, Beloveds.
Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based in Melbourne, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world.
Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children).