So… there’s no easy way to speak about such things…
My Dad transitioned into the Light last month.
Dad passed after almost exactly 12 months of struggle and a slow, but steady deterioration of his body. His mind however, remained perfectly in-tact.
Then he left us one week shy of his 71st birthday. Thanks for that, Dad.
Did you know? The leading cause of Death is Life
Funny yet true. Death is as factual and every day as babies being born.
But it’s less considered, talked about, acknowledged and most definitely way less enjoyed.
Death’s as natural as everything else
In fact, it’s an integral part of the process of life.
And it occurs to me that if we’re to truly love and appreciate the joys of being being alive, then we also must look at and grow our appreciation for the ENTIRE process.
Death. Dying. Passing away. Transitioning.
Say any of those words out loud and most people’s faces immediately transform into sad, ewww, shocked or neutral expressions.
I’m so sorry, is about as much as most people can manage. Which is understandable for such a taboo topic!
Others have no idea what to do or say, so they simply freeze. Which can be perceived as uncaring or unfeeling, but mostly those peeps are just feeling awkward.
So, why *is* talking about death so taboo?
There seems to be a few key points:
- We all know that death is something we all have in common
- On account of there’s no escaping death as part of being alive – it’s a done deal from the moment of conception
- The uncertainty and the “finality” of death make most people feel very uncomfortable
- If you haven’t lost someone yourself yet, the thought of a loved one dying is unimaginable
- If you HAVE lost someone, you’re used to everyone quickly side-stepping the topic
Wouldn’t it be great if we could discuss the passing of loved ones with the same ease as say… the weather? Or the footy.
The Dead Parent Club
In the six-ish weeks since Dad passed, many people have shared stories with me of their own losses.
You see, it’s a Thing. I’m in the Dead Parent Club now.
Existing members are always relieved to have new members to talk to. Folks who aren’t going to cringe or change the subject when they want to talk.
What I’m noticing from these conversations is that there are some really interesting patterns emerging:
- Most people can’t talk about death very well or for very long.
- Those who’ve lost someone often feel as if their grief will never end. Some even feel like it SHOULDN’T end.
- Especially when you lose a parent, it’s an EPIC transformation for the living, too. No matter what your relationship with your parent(s) was like.
- The healing process can take a long time. Most people get so busy with their lives so it can take even longer to release the final layers of grief.
There were SO MANY signs
One of which was working with a client weekly for 10 weeks just before Dad passed – to help her with the heartbreak and shock of losing her step-Dad in tragic circumstances.
In retrospect it’s really interesting that I found myself walking someone else through all the steps of grief, and then only a week or two later my own father pulled up stumps.
So yeah, I want to talk to you more about death
Because if there’s one thing I’m 100% certain of through doing my work as a Kinesiologist, is that underlying most of our every-day fears in this life, is the fear of death.
The fear of our ultimate and inevitable passing into the next realm. The lack of certainty many people have around what they do or don’t believe, in terms of “life after death”.
The service I’m offering is to tell some stories, and unpack a little of the mystery. Because it’s in the mystery that we allow our fears to grow and fester.
And it’s in the unpacking, the standing in our power in the face of it all, that we finally see there was nothing to fear in the end.
For those of us who remain when a loved one transitions
- You CAN process and work through your grief
- You don’t have to feel like crap for years and years afterwards
- You can be happy again, and in fact, your passed over loved ones WANT you to be happy
As for me? I’m doing okay. I’ve been receiving a lot of healing, and I’ve been taking time out to care for and honor my feelings. Which I hope you’re doing, too, if you happen to be in the same boat.
Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world.
Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children).