Sometimes, we tell our stories over and over and OVER again
Until it becomes part of our habit to speak the words of the story.
Even once they stop having any resonance or charge for us.
Whether they’re stories of fear, limitations, trauma, grief and so on… we can become trapped by past definitions of ourselves.
I’m not a fan of telling people they should “just let go” of their stuff
Personally, I think it’s a kind of heartless thing to say, because we never know what lessons someone might still have to gain from whatever they’re going through.
Some lessons can last a year or less, or five or ten. While others can be life-long doh, no I haven’t got it yet kind of deals.
No one ever really has the right to tell another person to “let go” of, or “get over” anything.
However sometimes we need to recognise ourselves, when it’s time to do just that!
For a while (weeks, months or years), we still might have more to learn and clear from past hurts and traumas.
After all, these stories about who we think we are? They can take up residence in every cell of our body.
So, it’s 100% okay to still be dealing with them while they’re still relevant.
But at some point we reach a fork in the road…
Do we keep holding on to our previous story? Or can we really and truly step up and start to move on?
Sometimes we need to realise that it’s about taking responsibility and saying “yep, that’s enough now”.
BECAUSE it’s also possible to continue to give energy to our life experiences well past their due-date.
Why do we do this? Because as painful as it can be to hold onto past hurts, it can appear way less scary than moving forward and finding a new way of being!
Healing is about stepping into our own power
Having been through the wringer with my own healing journey, I remember reaching a point that I like to call “Functionally Recovered”.
I describe this as being “most of the way” to full recovery.
For example: Being able to talk about traumatic experiences without bursting into tears. Or being able to act/behave “normally” in most social situations.
Many people get to this point and figure that’s as good as things are gonna get.
Personally, I paused at “Functionally Recovered” for a while, but realised I wasn’t satisfied. I didn’t want the shadow of my traumatic history hanging over my head forever!
So I kept on going. More healing work, more Kinesiology sessions, more inner reflection.
I’d no idea where it would lead me, but I knew I wasn’t stopping my personal development there!
Where it led to was a choice: Eventually I had to choose to give up saying “I live with PTSD , depression and anxiety”.
Because it was no longer true.
But equally, I was no longer the person I was before I went through trauma (btw, this is usually a VERY good thing!).
So, the next part of my healing journey involved figuring out a brand new way to be in this world.
Which can feel both liberating and a bit scary!
Becoming a curious explorer
So if we’re not who we were before, and we’re letting go of labels that keep us feeling small, limited and scared… then it can feel as if we’re without a reference point for a while.
Which is again, a place we can get stalled on our healing journey!
To keep moving, we need to become a Curious Explorer: to keep asking ourselves questions, investigating what’s true and what isn’t and finally… choose to create new, more positive and beneficial stories that we want our lives to be about.
And then, we can turn our attention and awareness towards our new present (and future!) and finally let go of what was.
For example: How long do you want to keep telling yourself you don’t have enough confidence to do “XYZ”? When you’re ready to move on from that place, the only way to get confidence is to practice. Step forward. Try it on for size and forgive yourself for mistakes you make as you learn.
And keep on going.
But to even begin to start that new journey requires slipping off the old ideas and stepping into new possibilities.
It’s kind of like swinging on the monkey bars…
If you want to get from one end to the other, one hand has to grab the bar in front of you AND the other hand has to let go of the one behind. So you can use your momentum to swing towards the next rung!
In the beginning, it’s always a little challenging to let go.
But the rewards really are are worth it.
So… what are you ready to let go of, m’loves? And where would you like to go on your monkey bar adventure?
Please email me if you’d like support in taking your next step forward!
Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world.
Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children).