I’m not sure when I first started using the term “living in the question mark”.
It was probably around the time where my life exploded and I became estranged from my blood family.
When everything you’ve ever thought was stable in your life vanishes almost overnight, it’s incredibly destabilising.
Family are meant to be our rock, so they say. The one thing we always have in our lives, no matter what.
But it doesn’t work out that way for a lot of people. Just ask any kid in the foster system or young person experiencing homelessness.
When the one thing that’s always meant to be there vanishes, suddenly nothing feels certain or safe.
For the longest time there was nothing but radio silence from the very people I’d expected to have my back. I’d no idea what was going on. It was a very painful experience.
To find a way forward, I learned to live in the question mark
To find ease with not having all the answers.
To thrive despite having no sense of what my future would look like.
Where would I spend family holidays? Who would look after me if I became sick? Who would I list as my next of kin, or emergency contact?
It wasn’t easy, of course.
Humans prefer to know what’s going on
We really don’t enjoy having the rug pulled from under our feet!
It activates our fight/flight response, which creates panic and fear. Which sends us into a state of trying to control everything we can.
Of course any sense of control we think we have is just an illusion. This is an important lesson on many spiritual paths.
In the last couple of years, the entire world has had the rug pulled from under their feet!
Uncertainty has become the new normal
Without a doubt, most people are struggling with this.
But there’s a way to experience uncertainty from an empowered place, instead of feeling victimised by circumstances beyond our control!
The very first step, and the most powerful remedy we can apply is ACCEPTANCE.
Acceptance of what’s happening instead of avoiding or rejecting
Which doesn’t mean we have to roll over and take it! But it does mean being real with what’s going on and taking appropriate actions without wasting energy struggling against reality.
Once we accept what is, we can find a way to flow and move with life’s circumstances. To let things unfold instead of trying to control.
Trust me, this is a much easier way to live once you get the hang of it!
Ambha Amanda Roberts is a Kinesiologist, Intuitive Healer, educator and facilitator based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. She offers Kinesiology sessions both in-person and via Skype/Zoom all over the world.
Ambha Amanda is the co-creator of Adventures of Staria, which includes a series of Staria cards, and an upcoming book for children (including inner children).